


And It Hurts

by TheStoryOf14



Category: Glee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-10
Updated: 2013-10-10
Packaged: 2017-12-29 00:19:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/998622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStoryOf14/pseuds/TheStoryOf14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was singing as beautiful as ever. But only now did I realize how much that hurt. That it wasn't to me, at me, for me, because of me, she was singing. That it hurt. And that it was all my own, stupid fault. One shot - set during season 3: Nationals - It's all coming back to me now, as performed by Rachel Berry</p>
            </blockquote>





	And It Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any characters created by Ryan Murphy and/or team. Full credit goes to him/them for the full context and situations mentioned in the series. However, the storyline of this fanfic is all me and the little voice in my head – and thus, of course, not to be copied by anybody else – that would be stealing my creativity, my ideas – and not very nice.

"But when you touch me like this  
And you hold me like that  
I just have to admit  
That it's all coming back to me now" 

I messed up, okay?

Big time.

And it hurts.

Like hell.

And I never even knew  
Or at least not until now  
Just how much I'd screwed up  
And how much it hurt.

Not until this moment.  
Not until this song.

Not until now  
The moment she's singing  
The way I once thought she sang to me  
For me.

But now it's not for me anymore.  
And it never will be again.

Because she's singing  
-even more beautiful than she did back then-  
-even more beautiful than I had ever dared to imagine-  
-even more beautiful than when she sings  
(to me)  
in my dreams-

And I can see it in her eyes.

That it's to him she's singing now.  
That it's for him she's singing now.  
That it's his words that give her the courage to enter that stage every time now.  
That it's his smile she thinks of when that smile lights up her face.  
That it's his eyes that make her smile like she's never done until now.

Not even when she was singing her lungs out.  
Not even when she was singing at that piano in that shop.

That it's his comfort that's taken away all the hurt from when I screwed up.

Big time.

And I know it.

I blew it.

I.

Me.

Nobody else.

I made her hurt.  
I forced her to move on.

And now it's me who's hurt.  
Now it's me who couldn't see the truth  
When it was right in front of me  
With that shocked expression on her face  
And bits of eggshell all over her hair.

And it's all my fault.

And it hurts.

Like hell.

And it's stupid  
Stupid  
Stupid  
Stupid.

But when she sings I forget it's stupid  
I forget it hurts  
And all I can remember is  
I've got no one to blame.

No one  
But me

But when she sings

I fall in love with her

All over again

More than before  
Always more and deeper than before

And it hurts.


End file.
